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Home Awareness

“Not All Men, But Too Many to Ignore”

by Yukta
June 14, 2025
in Awareness, Opinion
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The UN data shows that 140 women and girls die every day at the hands of their partner or a close relative, which means one woman or girl is killed every 10 minutes. By age 12, most girls will have experienced some level of sexual harassment, whether they recognize it as such at the time or only note it later on in life. This early exposure often creates a lasting sense of fear and suspicion. Unfortunately, there continue to be reports and news stories about women being sexually assaulted by people they know—brothers, sons, uncles, and other family members who raised them and who  were raised with them . When abuse occurs within the assumed safety of one’s own home, often from people one trusts, the question arises:

If women cannot be safe among the people they trust, then who can they trust?

A Japanese girl Junko Furuta was a 17-year-old Japanese high school student who was abducted, raped, tortured, and murdered. They did everything to torture her form buring her insides with cigarettes to inserting tube light into her private parts. Although a old story it is too cruel to even imagine what had gone through.

In India a 80 year old mother was gang raped by her own sons. Was it about clothing or her age ? No

A 13‑year‑old girl  form Ilam was lured to a tea garden in Mai‑4 and gang‑raped by four people, including a 24‑year‑old man. The perpetrators also attempted to bribe the victim’s family with NPR 300,000. Can any price ever justify a crime? A life shattered? The lifelong trauma a survivor must carry?

In Sundarharaicha Municipality‑7 (Morang district), an 18‑month‑old girl was lured away from her home, raped, brutally assaulted, and left in a bush. She later died in the hospital. How will you justify a 18 months old child barely even forming a sentence of provoking the men?

In Siraha, the gang rape of 17‑year‑old Rinku Kumari Sada was “settled” by a local panchayat, with fines imposed on perpetrators. The victim’s family was silenced, and Rinku tragically died by hanging shortly after. Why wasn’t there legal punishment? She might have taken her  life because she didn’t have the courage to ensure the judgemental eyes of society. “It’s unfair that her worth is being defined by a man’s lack of self-restraint.”

Every year, millions of children fall victim to trafficking and online exploitation, with many being kidnapped or coerced into producing child sexual abuse material (CSAM). According to UN and NCMEC reports, one in four trafficking victims globally is a child, and over 36 million reports of CSAM were made in 2023 alone. Most victims are under 12, with the majority being girls later being discovered in pornographic sites.

These are  just an example. There are many more cases the world is unknown we are unknown about.

What is the reason that so many women fail to report abuse or assault? The answer lies within the disturbing way our society looks at abuse. Rather than ask the question of the perpetrator’s actions, we ask the questions of the woman — her clothing; her make-up; her hairstyle. “She was asking for it” are words that still circulate in our communities when abuse is documented. Not only are these words harmful — they are dangerous. These words silence victims as much as they embolden abusers.

It’s not only sexual abuse. Domestic violence—often hidden behind closed doors—is another abuse that women are supposed to accept. A woman could be brutally beaten by her husband, and the response is usually, “Then don’t get him mad.” Again, we hear, “Men are like that.” And this erodes women’s rights, their voices, and their humanity.

This might be a controversial thing to say, but if the echo of your voice makes a woman feel fear — not respect, not safety — then you haven’t proven your masculinity, you’ve failed it. The way we solve these problems lies in men wanting to be protectors instead of predators. To the men that already respect themselves, other men, women and girls – we appreciate you! I’m deeply grateful for the men in my life who make me feel safe, respected, and completely at ease in my own skin — the kind of men around whom I can simply be myself.

My pledge to all men is this: Be the type of gentleman in whose presence every woman and girl feels safe, seen and respected.

It’s not only women who can be victims of abuse—men face it too, and we must acknowledge that truth. I m not saying only women are the victims they are the criminals too sometimes.

In December 2024, Indian software engineer Atul Subhash took his own life in Bengaluru, leaving behind a 24‑page suicide note and 90‑minute video. He accused his wife and her family of harassment, false legal cases, and extorting ₹3 crore . 

Another chilling case emerged in May 2025 in India: newlywed husband Raja Raghuvanshi disappeared during his honeymoon in Meghalaya. His bride, Sonam Raghuvanshi, is accused of orchestrating his murder by hiring hitmen, with evidence including CCTV footage and phone records. Raja’s body was later found dumped off a waterfall .It’s not about gender, it’s about evil, exploitation, and betrayal. When a man is motivated to suicide by abuse from his wife’s side or is killed by his wife during what should be the best time in his life, we need to name it what it is: abuse. And we must fight it, every time it occurs.

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Yukta

Yukta

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